Myths and Facts about Domestic Violence

Myth: Domestic violence is a "loss of control."
Fact: Violent behavior is a choice. Perpetrators use it to control their victims. Domestic violence is about batterers using their control, not losing their control. Their actions are very deliberate.
Myth: The victim is responsible for the violence because she provokes it.
Fact: No one asks to be abused and no one deserves to be abused, regardless of what they say or do.
Myth: If the victim didn’t like it, she would leave.
Fact: Victims do no like the abuse. They stay in the relationship for many reasons, including fear. Most do eventually leave.
Myth: Domestic violence only occurs in a small percentage of relationships.
Fact: Estimates report that domestic violence occurs in one quarter to one third of all intimate relationships. This applies to heterosexual and same-sex relationships.
Myth: Middle and upper class women do not get battered as frequently as poor women.
Fact: Domestic violence occurs in all socioeconomic levels.  Because women with money usually have more access to resources, poorer women tend to use community agencies, and are therefore more visible.
Myth: Batterers are violent in all their relationships
Fact: Batterers choose to be violent toward their partners in ways they would never consider treating other people. 
Myth: Alcohol/drugs cause battering behavior.
Fact: Although many abusive partners also abuse alcohol and/or drugs, this is not the underlying cause of the battering.  Many batterers use alcohol/drugs as an excuse to explain their violence.
Myth: Once a battered woman, always a battered woman.
Fact: While some battered women have been in more than one abusive relationship, women who receive domestic violence services are the least likely to enter another abusive relationship.